How can we be okay with how life has turned out? In my other blog post I talked about the seasons of life. There are moments of trials in our life that we hadn’t planned for. Things turn out differently than we had hoped. How can we be happy with the now?
I had many of you share your stories on my first post of how life turned out differently than you thought it would. One person talked about how she was getting a divorce at 24 when all her other friends were getting married. Another person talked about postpartum depression and how she never thought that would be something she would have to deal with. Some people talked about the death of their spouse or child. We never thought something like this would happen. We never thought this would be our season of life.
After receiving all these messages I realized that everyone has had these “seasons of life” moments. We struggle with these trials and we aren’t sure it will ever pass. We never plan for things to turn out the way they do and its hard to accept it. Its hard to accept our reality.
Like I mentioned in my last post, I never thought I would be a widow and single mom living with my parents and it’s been hard. I’m still struggling to accept how my life turned out and I’m not sure how to be happy with where I’m at. I spend my time wishing for things to go back to the way they were. Wishing I was with Justin right now looking for a house to raise our two boys in together. If i’m not spending my time in the past I’m spending my time thinking about the future. I’ll think to myself “once this happens” I’ll be happier. I’m struggling to live in the now! I’m struggling with accepting my reality.
My question for you is when life doesn’t turn out the way you hoped it would, how do you live in the moment? How do you accept reality? How can I accept that life is different than I had hoped for and how do I find joy in this season of life?
I almost didn’t write this post because I honestly don’t have the answer. I wanted to give you some inspirational answer of how I’ve been able to live in the now or how I’ve been able to accept my life and how it turned out. I wish I could, but I don’t know.
So I’m turning the question over to you and asking for advice. When things have turned out differently or you are stuck in a season of life you aren’t so happy to be in, how can you get through it? I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way and I hope that if we share our thoughts we can help each other!
I was already writing this blog post before all of this stuff happened with the Coronavirus. We have all had to change our plans in someway. Some parents are homeschooling and that can be hard, my friend had to cancel her wedding, many lives have been effecting in some way. This is a perfect example of these season of life moments. How can we accept reality? How can we be happy in the now?
I would love your thoughts and advice! Please comment below!
I have learned journaling helps. Also keeping positive people around you. I struggle with living in the now too. I have two kids by two different guys and have been divorced twice, and had miscarriages. I have learned over time the hard times help build us up and give us the knowledge to help others. We all picture our lives different. Focus on what you can control. Everyday is a battle, as mom’s we are extra hard on ourselves. Don’t see yourself as you do, see yourself as God does. Our kids love us for just being there. Sorry I’m rambling, I just feel for you everyday. Your doing great. Don’t fake it, face it, and move forward. I heard a yes talk once about a widow, and she said she will never for on with out her husband, he will always be part of her life.but she won’t stop living either. I am glad you share your story, you are not alone and you give other hope. Shine your light ! Big hug. You got this! One day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. Be thankful for what you have and find joy in the small things.
Hi. I love reading your blogs. It is so emotional and u bare your soul in them.
I know life can be hard, when you least expect it. I lost my dad 15 years ago, it was so sudden, he was young and healthy. It was like he was there 10 min ago and he was gone. Our lives turned upside down. All our dreams, plans together as a family were shattered. And we were one happy family I tell you.
I still miss him, I wish he could see my kids, my husband, I wish he could see us excel in our respective careers and life. But then like him I am an absolute optimist. I see life through a filtered glass which only shows me good in others. So whenever life throws a curve ball, I talk to my dad and think what he would do, and then try to see the good behind it. And very firmly I then decide that better days will come.
After all life always goes up and down because straight line only comes in the end.
Lots of love to you
I try to take one day at a time and if that gets hard too then only a few hours at a time. I try to do a lot of self care and me-time. Lately I have felt stuck financially and living like that takes my hope away but I try to focus on what I do have now and make plans for the future
Time. Lean into the sorrow & sadness. Time brings acceptance & a better outlook.
But these things can & will change us fundamentally, hopefully in positive ways.
When I was 18 I had my whole life planned out, I was going to join the army, be career military, marry my cute Army boyfriend. Then I blew out my knee, lost my army career, and broke up with my boyfriend in a terrible and messy way that left me emotionally damaged for a really long time. Seven years later my mom died suddenly. Along the way I had other seemingly monumental things not work out (I say seemingly because everything paled in comparison to losing my mom). Over time, with perspective, I learned that every terrible thing happened to make room for the next good thing. Every day it’s hard for me to find the silver lining in situations. But losing my mom did give me a perspective on life and on being a mom that I never would have had if I hadn’t lost her. Having a terrible boyfriend do terrible things to me let me truly value and appreciate the man who became my husband years later. I don’t know what your next good thing is, but I do know that you’re raising two precious boys, that you share love and loss on the internet in a way that helps others process grief, and that you seem to be putting your heart into trying to do the best you can each day. I hope you find your next good thing.
Love this so much! Thank you for sharing