• Home
  • About Me
    • Featured
    • Coco’s Caravan
  • Contact
    • Subscribe to my blog
  • Motherhood
    • All Things Kids
    • My favorite Affordable Baby and Kids Clothing Stores 2021
    • Five Toddler Toys My Boys Love to Play With
    • 8 of the best must have products for twins
    • 13 of The Best Tips for Flying with a Toddler
  • Lifestyle
    • Discount Codes
  • My Story
    • My Story
    • My Birth Story
    • My Story (told by my dad)
    • Justins 2nd Death Anniversary
    • Two Against One
  • Courses
  • Community
    • Their Stories
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • YouTube

Coco's Caravan

The Twins Baby Shower

in My Story on 03/03/19

Justin went into the hospital last year on February 14th and we thought he would only be there for a couple days. Each day came with more bad news and we weren’t sure when he would get released. There were a couple days he gave us a scare and we weren’t sure he would make it.  The baby shower was coming up and I didn’t want to do it.

During all the years Justin had cancer that was the first time I realized he might not live. Those months in the hospital were the darkest days of my life. I got to the point where I wasn’t even excited that I was pregnant. My excitement to meet the twins was replaced with worry and fear. The thought of living life as a single mom without Justin was unbearable. With all these thoughts going through my head it seemed impossible to go celebrate the twins. How was I supposed to be happy and celebrate life when my husband was about to lose his.

I started to think that maybe I should cancel the baby shower. I could see myself crying with each person who greeted me. I didn’t want to have to give updates or explain what was going on. I had this constant anxiety that something bad would happen while I was gone. I had been at the hospital with him every day and I was scared to leave him. I wasn’t sure what to do.

Something I miss most about Justin was his ability to calm me down and talk to me. He always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. I’m getting emotional writing about this because I miss it so much. When I was undecided about what to do he knew exactly what to say to help me make a decision. After talking to him, he convinced me to go to the baby shower.

My sister came up with an idea to contact people before the shower and let them know what was going on. She asked that we not talk about hospital stuff and focus on baby talk.


The baby shower turned out perfect and was everything I ever imagined it to be. It turned out to be a nice break from my high anxiety life. I was able to step away from cancer and enjoy a moment of happiness. The shower helped lift my spirits again and got me excited to meet these two boys.

After the baby shower I went straight to the hospital and told Justin all about it. I showed him some gifts and shared all the fun moments. It wasn’t until later that evening my dad told me that Justin was almost rushed to the ICU during my shower. I guess his pain meds were making him unresponsive and once they lowered his dose he was fine. I’m glad they decided to wait and tell me later. I would have been a nervous wreck trying to get there if I had known.

I’m so grateful to all my friends and family who came to that shower. Even though the situation with Justin was serious, everyone still talked about our future. They all had hope in him living and spending his life with me and the boys. That meant everything to me. It made the shower positive and kept me hopeful!

I also want to say thank you for the gifts that were sent in the mail as well. I had so many wonderful people reach out and send me things! After Justin got out of the hospital our lives got so crazy and I feel bad I never sent thank you cards! Love you all!!

Tweet
Pin
Share24
24 Shares

1 Comment

« How we chose the Twin’s Names
Took the caravan to Florida »

Comments

  1. Rulon says

    March 3, 2019 at 11:39 pm

    I remeber this day like it was yesterday. Mitch and I were with Justin and his vital signs were getting worse and worse. Justin was less and less aware of what was going on around him, but he wanted so badly for the shower to go off well. Finally, they came to tell us that he needed to go to the ICU and Mitch really took the lead. We were working with the weekend staff who are all, to the person, wonderful and capable, But, they didn’t have the history of the people who had been working with Justin. As a healthcare executive, this was so enlightening for me to watch. And more so when Mitch asked them to take off Justin’s Fentanyl patch. In just an hour he was feeling better and even able to get out of bed when Jennifer came home to report. I was so thankful for small miracles. In a horrible situation, we had many of these small and identifiable miracles and Justin and Jennifer were SO strong through it!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

welcome
Hi I’m Jenn, but my friends call me Coco. I recently lost the love of my life to cancer. I’m now a single mom of IVF miracle twin boys. I hope to help others as I share my journey as a new widow and mother of twins.

Instagram

cocoscaravan

Widow // Mamma of twin boys
Helping others along the way
Jump on in and join my caravan!
PO Box #1172 American Fork UT 84003
Email for collaborations

Jennifer Hanks
I’m here to help you save and create memories! L I’m here to help you save and create memories! Let’s make a summer video!!! I made a checklist of videos you should take of your family this summer and we can put them all together at the end of the summer to make a cute video!! Subscribe to my email so you can get it for free! Link in bio!! 👆 #creatememories
Let’s make a summer video! Helping you create an Let’s make a summer video! Helping you create and save memories! I’ll be emailing this printable to my email subscribers tomorrow! Link in bio to subscribe!
I took the activity table out of the playroom beca I took the activity table out of the playroom because they love using the @rooandyou for a table instead. They play legos and set up their car villages. It’s so cute! #rooper  I love getting multiple uses out of a product! ❤️
Much needed haircut ❤️🙌 #haircut Much needed haircut ❤️🙌 #haircut
Justin’s parents took the boys to visit Justin’s gravesite on Memorial Day. They shared this video of the boys going around picking up all the flower pots that had fallen over. My heart 😭❤️🥹 had to share #memorialday #memorialdayweekend #lossofalovedone
It was really hard going from living with my paren It was really hard going from living with my parents to then living on my own with the boys. I was terrified of sleeping alone at night. Managing a home. Single parenting. Being alone. 

I find it hard when people say “you’re so strong” like I have some choice in the matter. The way I see it, it’s ether be strong or give up” I don’t see much of a choice. I made a choice to be strong, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard and I don’t struggle. It’s the hardest thing I’ve done since Justin has passed away. I’m still struggling, but I keep going. That’s most important! Big milestone today! Living on my own for a year now
I grieve the life we would have had together. 💔 I grieve the life we would have had together. 💔 It’s an unimaginable pain that will follow me forever 💔😭 . #happyanniversary 💔#happyheavenlyanniversary
Link in bio to see how I put this together! It’s Link in bio to see how I put this together! It’s my new favorite littler corner of our kitchen! No drilling involved and super easy to do! #kidsartwork #artworkdisplay #kidscorner #playroomideas
Don’t worry I’ve got you! I’m here to help y Don’t worry I’ve got you! I’m here to help you document and save life’s precious moments! You never want to regret missing a moment! 
Follow along and subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss future photo tips and ideas! #summerphotoshoot #summerphotoideas #kidsummer #summerphotography
A message to all my fellow single moms out there ❤️ #singlemom #singleparent #singlemomlife #singlemoms
My little preschool graduates! ❤️ “You’re My little preschool graduates! ❤️ “You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” -Winnie the Pooh #preschoolgraduation #preschooler #preschoolgraduate
Only the Yoto player is on sale not the Yoto mini. Only the Yoto player is on sale not the Yoto mini. Link in bio! Read my full review of the Yoto on the blog! #yotoplayer #screenfreekids #screenfree #tonies #yoto @yotoplay_us
Link in bio for more info #cameravsphone #canon #c Link in bio for more info #cameravsphone #canon #camera #photos
A good reminder ❤️ #selfcare #selflove #mother A good reminder ❤️ #selfcare #selflove #motherhood #takecareofyourself
Mothers Day can be a hard day as a single mom. Tod Mothers Day can be a hard day as a single mom. Today was just like any other day. It’s another reminder that Justin is gone and then I start to think “if he was here I bet it would be like this..” everything always comes back to him 💔 Marshal did run in around 11am randomly and said “Happy Mothers Day” which was so sweet! So grateful to have my boys though and so happy to be their mom #mothersday #singlemommothersday #singlemom
#mothersday #mothersday
Bring your kid cameras to the aquarium next time y Bring your kid cameras to the aquarium next time you go! Makes it so much fun and the kids loved it! Always fun to see through their eyes. #kidscamera #photos

Link to cameras in bio in my Amazon store 👆
This is the best way to describe loneliness. I hav This is the best way to describe loneliness. I have so many great friends and family but it’s not really about that. 💔 #lonely #loneliness
Most of my thoughts are consumed in the past or gr Most of my thoughts are consumed in the past or grieving over the lost future. What could have been or if he were just here this is how it would be. I’m trying to think of the now and find happiness in the now. #happiness #liveinthenow #liveinthemoment
Memories fade… I’ll always be grateful that I Memories fade… I’ll always be grateful that I took the photo! ❤️ #takethephoto #memorymaking #picturesareimportant
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Popular Posts

How to make an easy kids artwork display at home

The best camera for beginners

5 Heartfelt Mothers Day Crafts for Grandma

Categories

  • Caravan Community
  • DIY
  • Home Slider
  • Lifestyle
  • Motherhood
  • My Story
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized

Join Us on Instagram

cocoscaravan

Widow // Mamma of twin boys
Helping others along the way
Jump on in and join my caravan!
PO Box #1172 American Fork UT 84003
Email for collaborations

Jennifer Hanks
I’m here to help you save and create memories! L I’m here to help you save and create memories! Let’s make a summer video!!! I made a checklist of videos you should take of your family this summer and we can put them all together at the end of the summer to make a cute video!! Subscribe to my email so you can get it for free! Link in bio!! 👆 #creatememories
Let’s make a summer video! Helping you create an Let’s make a summer video! Helping you create and save memories! I’ll be emailing this printable to my email subscribers tomorrow! Link in bio to subscribe!
I took the activity table out of the playroom beca I took the activity table out of the playroom because they love using the @rooandyou for a table instead. They play legos and set up their car villages. It’s so cute! #rooper  I love getting multiple uses out of a product! ❤️
Much needed haircut ❤️🙌 #haircut Much needed haircut ❤️🙌 #haircut
Justin’s parents took the boys to visit Justin’s gravesite on Memorial Day. They shared this video of the boys going around picking up all the flower pots that had fallen over. My heart 😭❤️🥹 had to share #memorialday #memorialdayweekend #lossofalovedone
It was really hard going from living with my paren It was really hard going from living with my parents to then living on my own with the boys. I was terrified of sleeping alone at night. Managing a home. Single parenting. Being alone. 

I find it hard when people say “you’re so strong” like I have some choice in the matter. The way I see it, it’s ether be strong or give up” I don’t see much of a choice. I made a choice to be strong, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard and I don’t struggle. It’s the hardest thing I’ve done since Justin has passed away. I’m still struggling, but I keep going. That’s most important! Big milestone today! Living on my own for a year now
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2023 · Custom design by How Sweet Designs

Copyright © 2023 Jennifer Hanks · Custom design by How Sweet Designs
  • Disclosure
  • Privacy Policy
  • Term and Conditions