This week is national infertility week and I felt like I really wanted to talk more about it. I’m hoping the more we talk about infertility the more others will feel comfortable to share their story and be supported along their own journey!
Why I was nervous to share my infertility journey
Justin was in the middle of cancer treatments when we started our fertility treatment. Only a couple of my close friends and family knew I was starting the process of IVF(In-vitro fertilization). Justin’s cancer shielded us from the typical questions friends and family ask after you have been married for a couple of years. I’m sure everyone means well when they ask you, “so when do you think you will start a family” or “you guys have been married for awhile now..” These questions might come from a good place, but you never know what is really happening in that couples life when you ask them. A simple question could bring a lot of pain.
Some people might be in a place where they feel comfortable sharing that part of their life and others might not be. I know that I was very hesitant to share my infertility journey. We just need to be so considerate of others!
When we started our in-vitro fertilization journey we decided to not share it with others. I think I was nervous about what people would say. I was nervous people would criticize me for getting pregnant while my husband was still sick. I wanted the decision to be ours before others gave us their input.
I think another reason I didn’t want to tell anyone I was doing IVF because it took away the element of surprise. Nothing about my pregnancy was normal, but being able to announce that we were pregnant kept that one part of my pregnancy normal.
I think the last reason I was worried to talk about it was because I was anxious it wouldn’t work. I didn’t want to get our friends and families hopes up and then have to tell them it failed.
So we decided to keep everything to ourselves. Our family knew and a couple of our friends, but that was it. Looking back on it now I wish I would have just told everyone. When our first transfer failed I could have had more people on my side to lift me up and help me keep going. I was more worried about letting them down than having their support.
I want to keep talking about infertility and continue to bring awareness. It’s extremely hard and emotional. We never know what is going on in someones life. Lets create a space where people dealing with infertility are comfortable to talk about it.
I’m grateful for all the friends I’ve made through my infertility journey. Our stories were all a little different on why we needed fertility treatment, but we all had the same thing in common. We wanted to be mothers and have kids of our own! That is what kept us going.
As always whenever I talk about IVF or infertility my heart goes out to those still in that world. I’m always thinking and praying for you! Especially right now during COVID-19 because a lot of the fertility clinics have been shut down. If you know someone struggling with infertility give them a big hug next time you see them! It’s not easy and having support from others can make it a little more bearable!
I am curious for those of you who went through infertility treatment did you share you experience or decide to wait and tell people after?